porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
