I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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