cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
