I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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