What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
she smelled like a LAN party
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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