my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
