Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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