just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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