Will you blow on my dice?
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
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