apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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