did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Panties = found
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