You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
