I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
