My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
