so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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