question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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