My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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