yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
