I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
