Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
