Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
