this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
