And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
