U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
kristin has been a bad kristin
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
