i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
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