Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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