I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
