i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
