doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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