You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
