Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
