Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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