there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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