Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
