Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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