Only a mothe r could love this liver
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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