absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
