Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
