ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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