Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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