I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I need to calm my uterus...
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
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