Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
