It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
