when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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