Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
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