marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
