We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
