oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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