My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
