Cold hands, warm shart.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
