Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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