But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
