Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
