I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
