is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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