She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
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