you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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