We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
